We know not everyone can afford to pay to hire someone to tend to a loved one’s memorial, so we wanted to help you with a simple DIY guide to grave tending. I’m Ashley, I’m the owner of Don’t Forget Me an Essex based Grave Maintenance business. I hope these can help you if you need a helping hand.
Grave Tending Key Tips
As well as these simple tips, we answer some commonly asked questions.
Cleaning Gravestones
As the one person anyone will likely ever meet who makes a living gave tending, people often ask me about cleaning gravestones. My usual answer is: “Don’t do it, not unless you absolutely have to!”
The weathering process is part of their charm and beauty.
However, there are times when your memorial might need a little tending to, and cleaning up a touch. Here are some tips on cleaning a gravestone.
Ask yourself if it really needs cleaning
Whenever you clean a headstone, no matter how gently, you will remove a small amount of the surface stone.
If you clean stone in an old graveyard, it might even look out of place. Although we appreciate sometimes we all want our loved one’s memorial to stand out. I am the same.
Sometimes cleaning a headstone can cause more harm than good, so if you are in doubt I would always advise you to speak to someone who does this regularly. If you are in doubt, you can always contact our grave maintenance service as there is always a risk of damage to the stone.
If a stone is in the shade beneath a tree, for example, removing the lichen will only result in its reappearance again in a few months time. To maintain that clean stone you would need to work on it more than once a year. Which is where the risk of damage can come in.
Always use the gentlest method possible first
This means good old fashioned water and a soft brush.
Even kitchen roll and warm water can be enough to make a difference. It’s low cost and will have the least damaging effect to the stone you are grave tending.
Never use a wire or abrasive bristle brush when Grave Tending
Always start with a soft brush and if this does not work, try a slightly firmer brush.
It is always best to take different sized brushes with you, so that you can get into small spaces.
Make sure that any metal or hard surfaces on a brush are covered.
Use lots of water
Use lots of water when grave tending as well as a soft plastic scraper, rinsing all the time and using clean water each time.
A hose pipe is the best way to keep the stone wet, but I know this isn’t always possible to use. In that case a clean bucket for the job is ideal, with plenty of clean water, to keep the headstone lubricated.
Keep the brush wet at all times.
I like using a sponge as it is particularly soft and can soak up a lot of water. Remember to keep rinsing and scraping the water away each time and never leave the stone to dry without thoroughly rinsing.
Remember also, if you don’t feel comfortable tackling a particular memorial you can always drop us a call or a message and we can take the task of the grave tending over for you.
How do you brush a headstone to clean it
Brush in a gentle circular pattern, working methodically so you don’t miss any of it.
Always clean the whole stone once you have begun. It is best to start at the top of the stone and to work down so that any dirty water does not then mark the part of the stone you have already cleaned.
What happens if I scrub to hard?
Don’t.
Don’t be tempted to either. Gentle is key.
When grave tending, be as gentle as you can. In many occasions self cleaning the stone will not bring it out as new. to truly make it sparkly it will need careful stone blasting, or blast washing. Which is probably my most frequent grave tending work in and around the Southend and Essex areas. If bringing the headstone to it’s almost new state is what you are after, it doesn’t cost often as much as you may think and I can always give you a quick free quote.
Can I use household cleaners?
When grave-tending do not use household cleaning products. These products on the market which while maybe achieving a quick and effective clean, will damage the stone in the long run.
These products should always be avoided if possible. This is why my first suggestion is to always use warm water instead.
Always avoid any cleaners containing bleach or acids also.
These can and generally DO destroy the composition of the stone. Changing the surface which in turn can lead to faster weathering in future. The downside of that is also the lettering may become less readable and will need to be re-gilded.
Do you provide Grave Tending Services?
Our main business is exactly that. Our services range from as little as £40 and the scope of what we do is anything from simple garden upkeep to full re-gilding.
Don’t be put off contacting us even if you think the job is only small.
When it comes to your loved one’s memorial, there really isn’t a small job to us.
Looking for grave tending in Essex?
If you are looking on Google for ‘Grave Tending near me?’ or a grave-tending service in Essex, I can cover the county and also am available for the fringes of London, such as Highgate too.
I am always happy to give you a free quote and some helpful advice if it is something that you want to understand how to do yourself in the future. If you want a one-off bit of upkeep or a regular grave tender I hope I can have the opportunity to talk to you.